Weve been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh I wonder whats wrong?
Seems you dont want me around
The passion is gone and the flames died down

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that Im the antichrist

Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks in my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you dont love me anymore

I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
Youre still the light of my life
Oh darling, Im beggin, wont you put down that knife?

You know, I even think its kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down that elevator shaft

Oh, if you dont mind me asking, whats this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometime I get to thinking you dont love me any more

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers

Oh, you think that Im ugly and you say that Im cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead

Oh, you know this really isnt like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you dont love me any more, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you dont love me anymore

(approximately 10 minutes and 2 seconds of silence)