This is my pretend friend
Treat him with kindness
Take her wherever I go
Just so theres someone I know

Hes made of plastic
So she wont talk back
He is a good friend
Because shes pretend
Pretend

This is my pretend friend
She is my witness
Hes filled her head the facts of my unspeakable acts
Hell talk for hours she never sours
He is a good friend she doesnt offend

O-offend doesnt offend
This is my pretend friend
She fakes it so well
I fuck him every night and brag about it
But then its quite true that I dont like you

You are a good friend because you are pretend
Pretend (x4)

Send "Pretend Friend" Ringtone to your Cell