I'm twenty-nine years old,
still wearing the wallet chain,
like I was twenty-eight.
I'm wearing my Vans right now,
so high school kids will think that I can skate.
I've got a degree in science,
yet shaking my fists in defiance.

Anyway, I'm not cliché,
I hardly own any ties.
I may be old,
but at least I'm not like all those other old guys.

I'm watching MTV,
for fashion tips,
so I can say,
that I saw it first.
Backwards hat, tattoos,
and goatee say I'm cool,
just like Fred Durst.
I pay almost all my bills,
I sleep on a futon still.

(Anyway, I'm not cliche,
I might not even die.
I may be old,
but at least I'm not like all those other old guys.

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