Good morning dearly beloved
we are gathered here today
to watch two people we know make a big mistake
they'll stand up at the alter and solemnly swear I do
they'll be together forever til they find somebody new

Her daddy's in the front row
muttering o no here we go again
they had a couple dates
now she 3 months late
and its 20 bucks a plate I spent oo

good morning dearly beloved
I'd like to welcome ya'll
to see the side effects of sex and alcohol
please bow your heads and join me
in a prayer for these two
they'll be together forever til they find somebody new

the bride is a flirt and the groom is worse as hes puttin the ring on her
hes checking out the bridesmaids
thinking that he might take the maid of honor's honor

o welcome dearly beloved we are here this afternoon
to throw rice as these two drive down the road to ruin
with cans tied to the bumper and a draggin muffler too
they'll be together forever til they find somebody new

so raise your glass and join me
heres to the bride and groom
they'll be together forever til they find somebody new

(Thanks to jenny for these lyrics)

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