I rolled my eyes, burst into tears
And how appropriate can you get?
The details emerged, the anger surged
I got to say I wish we never met
Hey, a party cruise on the River Styx
And I suppose it’s just as well
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh, it’s so you
A Concorde ride, right to the Pearly Gates
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh, it’s so you
You mom was mad at all your friends
And vice-versa. It wasn’t cool.
I couldn’t read your eulogy
I told your dad we kind of had an office pool
Hey, a party cruise on the River Styx
And I suppose it’s the way to go
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh, it’s so you
A Concorde ride, right to the Pearly Gates
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh, it’s so you
We threw you a big Irish wake
I know that you’re Bolivian, but
You always were the biggest fake
We chose the path of least resistance
And most fun…and most fun…and most fun
Let the record show that I will fight your legend at every turn
All the stories that were never true and the rep that you didn’t earn
I will do everything in my power to make sure that this little stunt of yours
Gets you absolutely nowhere
But I guess I’m really talking to myself here

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