Incapable of holding down real jobs
and can't make rent,
so for a life in the arts
we deem ourselves destined.
Skip across my record collection
until a song strikes my soul.
Until it distances the earth between me and my home.
With the lazy shame of my parents money
and the senseless sweat of my own.
Kids! We're in this together.
You're my new consumer
and I don't want to move back home.

So put a big black sticker on the front
that says "For Fans Of."
And you can donate a penny to my future pension.
We've got big retail chain
front-of-store displays,
but just remember:
It's three grand for a half-page ad,
so you better be paying attention.

Yeah you're a beautiful consumer,
and I don't want to move back home.
So download all the songs we wrote
and hype it up with some bullshit quotes.
Yeah, we're on a roll.

Send "I'm On The Guestlist Motherfucker" Ringtone to your Cell