(lyrics are written by Liam Lynch) I went down to the beach and saw Kiki
She was, like, all "ehhhh"
And I was, like, "whatever!"

Then this chick comes up to me and she's all, like,
"Hey, aren't you that dude?"
And I'm, like, "yeah, whatever!"

So later I'm at the pool hall
And this girl comes up
And she's, like, "awww"
And I'm, like, "yeah, whatever!"

'Cuz this is my
United States of Whatever!
And this is my
United States of Whatever!
And this is my
United States of Whatever!

And then it's three A.M.
And I'm on the corner, wearing my leather
This dude comes up and he's, like, "hey, punk!"
I'm, like, "yeah, whatever!"

Then I'm throwing dice in the alley
and Officer Leroy comes up and he's all like,
"Hey, I thought I told you..."
And I'm, like, "yeah, whatever!"

And then up comes Zafo
I'm, like, "yo, Zafo. What's up?"
He's, like, "nothin'"
And I'm, like, "that's cool."

'Cuz this is my
United States of Whatever!
And this is my
United States of Whatever!

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