Peeking through the window of the girl across the street
Some slumber-party action down the hall
Balancing, bent over, naked, on their hands and feet
Who can poo the farthest of them all?

Some go the distance, some need assistance, racing resistance dusk to dawn
Puffing and panting, still goes the chanting, raving and ranting, on and on and on
(and on, and on, and on, and on)

Down the block, a couple digs up something from their yard
They act as if they've hit the mother-lode
Kissing and caressing that for which they've worked so hard
A bag of human fingers a'la mode

Lost in a pleasure, knowing no measure, they spread their treasure out between them
Happily heaving, flesh interweaving, smugly believing no one's seen them

Grab your hat and help yourself to a neighbor, get wise
Treat yourself to the secret scenes of spies
You'll lock horns with a perfect world you never knew was there
All you gotta do is hop from house to house to house, and stare

Listen to the people as they romp about next door
Lazy sounds of laughter and a drill
Every day a masterpiece of madness to explore
Every day another window sill

Send "Help Yourself To A Neighbor" Ringtone to your Cell