paranoia is the insect worming through my subconscious thoughts
it's the larave of my self doubt
gestating in my heart as i spiral down
and everything i touch is breaking and it falls to earth in splinters
and i shiver as every splinter finds it's way underneath my skin
and after 22 years i can still make my skin crawl
every shortcoming a pitfall
on my way to making amends within myself to be what i became
sometimes it feels like the whole wide world has made itself my enemy
but i will stand upon my own two feet and raise my head up
i lick my wounds trying to cleanse the infection
rabid and diseased reality fades away
when i pushed myself too far
a dream of emotional perfection has left a wounded heart
trying to percieve the gifts inherent inside me
it's like squeezing the trigger
it's like opening fire on everyone whose let me down
on every beautiful lie that is only fiction for the first time
i'm losing control and i like it
freedom feels like the noose is gone

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