Let me tell you a story about scary ned
Scariest guy to ever wet a bed
He had hands on his arms and eyes on his head
But they werent his

Hed go down to the market and try to scare the fish
He said that they bothered him, they werent his favorite dish
Then hed go down to the highway and pretend that he was dead
That just the way he was, creepy scary ned

Ooohh oohhhhh scary ned

Ned loved halloween cuz he didnt need a mask
Hed steal the childrens candy, he didnt even ask
Hed sit right down in front of them and then hed start to eat
Hed tell them they were better off cuz that stuff can rot your teeth

Ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh scary ned

A strange glow would come from his place late into the night
Hed watch t.v. til the dawn, you know that aint right
If he started to get tired hed rub sauerkraut on his head
Thats just the kind of guy he was, good old scary ned

Ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh scary ned

He had a face his mother didnt love
When people saw on the street they often said uughh!
Sometimes late at night hed walk alone
Hed be reciting stuff
Bad sounding stuff
Icky awful stuff
But when you got to know him, he werent so bad

Ooohh oohhhhh scary ned
Ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh scary ned

Ooohh oohhhhh scary ned [this repeats to end over talking- k]
Hes pretty scary
Scary ned
Really scary
Scary ned
Hes scary
Hence the name
Scary ned
I saw him yesterday
He said hi
I got scared
cause hes
Scary ned
If he werent scary
I supposed hed be called
Like, happy ned
And who wants to hear a song about
Happy ned (happy ned)

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